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inpeace blog

When the Load’s too Heavy

by Rickie Moore, PhD

posted: December 26, 2009

We all get overwhelmed at times with what we think are “meaningful” items to handle: save whales, polar bears, rain forests; feed the hungry, save the children, change the light bulbs.

Sometimes I don’t know what to do first: answer emails, buy new shoes, fix the sink, impress the boss, read that magazine that’s been laying next to my bed for a month, pay taxes, go to the laundry, fix dinner, pay bills?

Oh come on, it’s never ending!

The most important thing we can do for the world, our families and friends is to show the world one peaceful person. And the only way we can feel peaceful is to RELAX.

As a therapist and workshop leader, my motto for thirty years has been “Inner peace — then the world.” I’m aware of the importance of accepting what IS. I know that when I want something to be different from the way it is, I SUFFER. I have little signs pasted around the house saying, “It doesn’t matter” to remind me. But it isn’t always easy to surrender, to sigh, simply let go, and say, “It doesn’t matter.”

Now we all know that there is tremendous power in words. “Love,” “mom,” “I’m sorry,” “God” stir up emotional reactions. Take the word “fuck,” for example. It has enormous power. It is used in every form of language and it’s used all over the world.

So during these mind-boggling, energy-sucking, spiritually-challenging times, I offer this practice: When the kids don’t call, you’ve burned the toast, the war’s on, you’ve gained a kilo, you lost your job, there’s no hot water — consciously take a deep breath and bravely exhale a clear, loud, “Fuck it!”

As a spiritual practice, it is a declaration of independence. It liberates you from taking anything too seriously. It brings you freedom. It helps you release your attachment to whatever is overwhelming you. Non-attachment is the key to the end of suffering. Isn’t this what AWAKENING is all about?

Scholarly note: a study reported in SCIENCE NEWS (1 Aug 2009) found that using swear words is good for you. Researchers at Keel University in England had people immerse a hand in ice water and found that those who used one of the basic curse words held their hand in the freezing water forty seconds longer than those who were asked to only use innocuous words. The subjects who swore also reported feeling less pain after the experiment.

So when the load’s too heavy, the pain too much to bear, just say, “Fuck it!” and RELAX.


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